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PrincessFoxpen

How do I explain to my bf what type of Daddy I need

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So I'm still exploring being a little but I have recently told my bf that I'm into the lifestyle. He's very supportive and is willing to learn with me. The problem is I have a hard time being a "teacher", so to speak, and explaining to him what I want. He isn't really one for googling anything other then cars and random things, so I don't expect him to do much research on his own. I'm also not very good with words and have no idea how to explain what I want. I see all this stuff online and I read about other people's dynamics but I honestly have no idea how to form in words what I want. I try and try but it never feels right. I'm totally lost on what to do at this point. Please help!

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I totally know where you're coming from. When I first tried to explain the what's and wherefores to my husband I felt really awkward when i felt like I was leading or teaching. Finding links and sharing them with him was one way I found, also creating a Pinterest board that I shared with him of examples about what I liked in the dynamic.

 

If you think he'd be open to talking with other CGs or Daddies, having him join here and hanging out on the CG subforum or talking to others in the chat might be a good way for him to find out more.

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20 hours ago, mindyg said:

I totally know where you're coming from. When I first tried to explain the what's and wherefores to my husband I felt really awkward when i felt like I was leading or teaching. Finding links and sharing them with him was one way I found, also creating a Pinterest board that I shared with him of examples about what I liked in the dynamic.

 

If you think he'd be open to talking with other CGs or Daddies, having him join here and hanging out on the CG subforum or talking to others in the chat might be a good way for him to find out more.

I usually just share screenshots/pictures of stuff I like and posts on tumblr I think would be helpful. 

 

He's not really the type to go on social media, otherwise I'd have him join

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Sit down alone and write out what you want. In nice clear bullet points. 

Do you want him playful or more firm?

Do you want rules or something more carefree?

Do you want him to punish you?

 

Really think on what you want and need so you can tell him, because no one is a better guide than you. 

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I'm currently going through this process so I definitely get it! Before me, he never heard about the dynamic. His understanding of BDSM was very broad. I found explaining BDSM in an educational way was much easier than explaining what I personally wanted from a DD/lg dynamic. 

I do the same thing with sending screenshots! I think pictures and other people's words can help when I'm at a loss for words. He is very opening and supportive and has loved every bit of it so far. I think for me personally, I was worried about judgement or coming across the wrong way or asking for something he wasn't into. I think starting with baby steps and seeing how he reacts helped me feel more comfortable sharing bigger things. I think it's also important to remind yourself that just because he might not be into a specific aspect of the dynamic, doesn't mean he doesn't love you or the dynamic. He's human too and has limits! 

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