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About this blog

Just a little blog where I'll talk about my day to day life, my relationship with Teddy and my little space. 

Entries in this blog

Rosalie

It's been a super long time since I wrote the first part of this which you can find here! 

 

So I'd researched into DDlg and found that it was something that really got my motor running, and intrigued me to no end! I followed a bunch of blogs and sent anonymous asks so that Teddy wouldn't accidentally bump into one of my questions and figure out that this was something I was interested in. I wanted to have that conversation just him and me, but I was super nervous. Knowing all I know now about the kink community, my kinks don't seem quite so ... well kinky! But at the time this was a HUGE step for me in embracing my sexuality. I wanted to be guided and taught, dominated but ultimately cared for. I did struggle with the kind of 'whats wrong with me' question a lot of us in the kink community ask ourselves at one point or another, which made it even harder to bring it up with Teddy (at the time being referred to as Sir). Although in hindsight I maybe wasn't being as a subtle as I had hoped; my blog on Tumblr had evolved from BDSM related, black and white, artsy pictures of men posing in suits (completely stereotypical, limited, cringeworthy stuff to me now) to more loving and caring images of soft subs with pink collars, hugging their dominants legs or receiving aftercare. I spent this morning going through my blog's archive from October 2013 to now and boy oh boy has it changed over the years! I can see myself trying to be something I'm not in the very beginning; I was using lewd language I would never use now and I remember feeling very uncomfortable about it then. I was trying to fit into the role of what I thought a submissive was. I'll tell you now, though it was an awkward, long, confusing transition, the road from D/s to DDlg was so totally worth it. Looking back my relationship wasn't as fulfilling as it is now because I wasn't sharing all parts of me with my partner. So, how to bring it up exactly? 

 

I'm going to be honest, it's a little hazy as it happened so long ago. However, I do remember that it took me ages of dancing around the subject and avoiding the actual scary words before finally explaining what I had learned about DDlg. I showed him the blogs I liked, the bookmarked pages, the pictures etc. He was very calm and listened though I could tell none of what I was saying was particularly exciting to him. The bondage, rules, punishments side of things was less foreign to us at the time so there was no problem with that. However, the part about pacifiers, ageplay and stuffies somewhat confused him. I tried to explain that even though it was a kink, not everything was for purely sexual purposes. I explained how my love of Disney, arts & crafts, girly outfits etc all fit with what I saw in the dynamic and he started to put the pieces together. To be honest this was a discussion that lasted weeks; after that first interaction he began doing his own research and I would send him stuff I was interested in too. Our one absolute boundary we had found was that the name 'Daddy' was not one we were comfortable with. That was his first hard limit regarding the dynamic, so we stuck with 'Sir' for a long time. He also wasn't too keen on sippy cups and pacifiers at the time either. We eased ourself in with writing out new rules and punishments. We even started a 'Baby Book' which, as we were living about an hour and a half away from each other at the time, made the distance easier in regards to DDlg. This consisted of 'tasks' I was given each week by Teddy that I had to complete by the end of the week. I would stick colouring pages in there, I would write out assignments in there and tick off a task when it was complete. Each week Teddy would write a 'report' on how well I did that week and how I could improve. We even had a gold star system at one point! He started to get really involved and excited about our new dynamic.

 

A few months later he went from being called 'Sir' to being called 'Teddy' which both of us preferred! It felt much better suited to him and his character, and to our dynamic. We gradually introduced sippy cups and pacifiers. Teddy recently divulged to me that he was never actively turned off by those items, he just felt uneasy because it was all so new and taboo. It also took him a while to fully understand that those items weren't sexual to me, they were a source of comfort (and super pretty too!). It's now been around 4 ish years (it's difficult to pin point) since we fully embraced DDlg into our lives and we've learned a few dos and don'ts in that time! If you're looking into starting a DDlg or CGl relationship, these are some things you might want to keep in mind. These are just my thoughts based on my personal experiences. 

1) There is always more to learn! 

No matter how many years you've been into DDlg or CGL, how many caregiver partners, sub/little partners or ageplay partners you've had, how many forums you are a member of, there is always more to learn! If you ever meet anyone who claims they have mastered the dynamic completely and never feels the need to read, learn or grow within the kink, I'd be very concerned for them. Talk to others within the kink community! Read their blogs and their articles, listen to their podcasts and (if you get the chance) talk to them at meet ups! There are so many interesting points of view within the community, so soak up as much of it as you can! This is something usually associated with dominants, but subs and switches should be just as knowledgeable! Smart is sexy ;) 

2) Communication is key.

I'm sure you've read this 100 times but it's so true. Be open and honest, but respectful. This seems simple but is actually very difficult! Wording, tone and body language are all important factors in how you communicate your feelings without making the other person feel attacked. Instead of saying "I don't like it when you XYZ" you could say "I would feel more comfortable if instead of XYZ you would try ABC, is that okay with you?". Basically always keep a positive, honest and clear line of communication open between you and your partner/s. Be clear with your limits, your turn ons and turn offs etc. 

3) Don't rush! 

This dynamic is so beautiful, so complex and so rewarding but it requires time and respect. You have to respect that this dynamic isn't something to be entered into lightly. Of course we all want to get to the fun, intimate and exciting bit, but don't rush there! The process is so important. Do your research, get to know the person really well and I mean REALLY well. You need to trust this person 100% which, in my opinion, you can't do you if only met them online a few weeks ago! No responsible dom OR sub should rush into such an intense relationship. Enjoy getting to know each other before you throw around labels and titles. There is much more to them than their 'role'. I see time and time again 'what can I do to cheer up my little' which, while very sweet and totally well intentioned, makes me wonder if you know them well enough. But that's a whole other blog post! 

4) Appreciate them. 

It's easy to overlook the little things your partner does for you, something small to you might seem big to them! Gratitude and appreciation are so important in making your partner feel loved. If they are trying out something new e.g a new Daddy, Mommy or Caregiver is learning how to enforce your rules, be encouraging and supportive! Don't get cross or upset with them for not getting it right away, it's a learning curve so appreciate their efforts and help as much as you can. Even if you aren't their first CGl partner, every person is different and it will take a little while to adjust to your specific likes/dislikes and general character when it comes to the dynamic! 

5) It's okay not to be perfect! 

You will notice that a lot of articles, blogs and CGl or DDlg individuals usually focus on the good parts of their relationship when talking to others. Beautifully shot Tumblr pictures don't show the bad times. The 'perfect' bruises and marks on that girl or boy's behind does not show all the time, effort and learning gone into mastering that skill. The little sitting happily on their caregiver's lap doesn't show the arguments, the struggles, the bad times that led them to that intimate moment of happiness. It's a journey, and that journey won't always be perfect, and that is absolutely, positively, 100% OKAY! Don't strive for CGl 'couple goals' or compare yourselves to others. 

 

In short, my DDlg / CGl journey isn't over. Teddy and I are coming up to our 6 year anniversary this month; in that time we've completed our A Levels, our higher education (though Teddy is hoping to do a PHD so his education will continue for some time!), we've lived apart, we've lived together, we've moved three times, we've gone through health problems and family problems and it's still been the best six years of my life. I'll let you know how the next six years go! 

If you got this far, thanks for reading and have a lovely day! 

 

Rosalie

Hi! [ Warning, this is a ranty / get my head around this kind of post! It's not very well written, just needed to get it out of my head to close this chapter. ]

 

It's been a really rough year. Rough for me personally, rough for my family and rough for my relationship with Teddy. A member of my immediate family was diagnosed with a very aggressive type of cancer, and because they have a young child I travelled a lot stay with them and help look after the baby and the house. It's been close to eight months since then and during that time it's been one terrible event after another. When it rains, it pours! Conversely it's also been great year because, despite all of that, I have been so lucky to have such amazingly supportive friends at uni who kept me going. I can say that I did my absolute best to support my family and I also managed to graduate from uni with the highest grade possible which was my aim from the beginning. For a while I really didn't think I was going to pass at all, and I probably wouldn't have done without the aforementioned friends. There are a lot of ongoing issues and health problems personally and within my family, but it's already leaps and bounds better than it was six months ago. 

 

I'm sure many others can appreciate and understand that times like these can take their toll on a relationship; any kind of relationship, kink or otherwise. During this period I really struggled to balance my time between school, family and Teddy. To be honest Teddy definitely dropped down dramatically on my priority list which was problematic. I'm not saying that it wasn't understandable because I don't think that there's a right way to deal with the kind of situation we were facing, but it was deeply unpleasant for both of us. We're both under 30 and neither of us had faced anything like this before so it was a learning curve. I was totally unable to go into little space. All my energy was being focused purely on keeping my head above water. When visiting and helping my family I tried to be a rock for them, being as helpful, sensitive and supportive as I could possibly be. In private or when home with Teddy I would cry a lot and I would sleep a lot. So much energy was being used looking after my baby niece, cleaning up their house, spending hours travelling to and fro and getting through my endometriosis pain. So when I got home, I barely had enough energy to keep up with my uni work, let alone cook and clean and in general pull my weight in terms of looking after our home. This is where the struggle between Teddy and I began. We were arguing about housework, about money, about very grown up things. I wasn't myself, and I don't think Teddy knew how best to support me at the time. Our DDlg relationship had essentially gone out the window. I simply had no energy left and this went on for a few months. We nearly reached breaking point but luckily we managed to stay afloat till things got a little better, and I'll tell you how.

Fast forward to about a month ago. I graduated. We moved back to our hometown and got a new place together. We decorated. We unpacked... well okay we haven't quite finished unpacking but we're getting there! When life gets really rough, sometimes it can help to step back and work on the absolute basics before worrying about rules and power exchange. We needed to rebuild our support system, our trust and our friendship. When we felt we were once again working as a couple, we started to discuss our roles of caregiver and little. We rewrote our contract, changed our rewards and punishments system and started afresh. I'm gonna go a bit metaphorical here but bear with me! Because we had already been seeing each other for at least two years before discovering DDlg, the foundation of our relationship was made up of a strong friendship, mutual respect and of course we fancied the pants off each other. With the weight of health issues, school stress, family problems etc. that foundation started to crack, and all that rested on those original building blocks became very unsteady. Eventually we stripped away all the 'non essentials' including DDlg. We'd both been struggling; we needed to communicate and treat each other as equals, thereby making sure we were both getting the support we needed outside of a power exchange. I needed space from rules and contracts and punishments. I needed to be heard and treated as an adult. Taking a break from DDlg did us the world of good. By going back to basics and relearning how best to support each other, how to communicate effectively and how to show the other that we care, it made us much stronger when we returned to our power exchange. It took a while and, don't get me wrong, we can still drive each other round the bend but I appreciate and trust him so much more as my partner and as my daddy. Our foundation, our building blocks can now fully support our DDlg relationship as a rewarding and fulfilling element of our lives. 

 

It's been rough and we still face a lot of challenges right now, but I also feel like we're better equipped to deal with whatever comes our way. It's a nice feeling :) 

And on that note I'm hoping to slowly get back to being an active member of DDlg World! <3 

Rosalie

Stepping Down

Hi guys,

 

I've been on hiatus for what seems like ages now and while I've tried to visit on occasion it simply isn't fair to anyone that I'm hardly ever around. Unfortunately a few months ago my family and I received some very shocking news and it is because of that that I have been spending more time with them and less time online. In all honesty, I haven't been able to achieve little space since we heard the news and while Teddy is still my daddy, we are focusing much more on getting through this as equal partners than as dom and sub. 

 

I've absolutely adored watching this site grow and working with some amazing people. Glenn and Tori are absolutely incredible admins and I'm really looking forward to see what they and the new moderating team do in the future. I hope to return soon but for now I wish the staff the best of luck and send my love to all the fantastic members here who make the community so great.

 

xxx

Rosalie

I wrote this for all our active, hard working moderators at DDlg World! 

The last line is a bit of an inside joke so that's why it doesn't make any sense :8_laughing:

 

Well, this day has come at last

And I must say I’m so glad

To work with such an awesome team

Even if we’re all half mad! 

 

We’ve worked our butts off on this site

I’m sure you’ll all agree

There’s no one I’d rather share it with

Than you, my family. 

 

Tori you’re my right hand gal

The sweetest puppy in the land,

Glenn you’re super talented,

Always keen to lend a hand.

 

Diana you are one smart gal

Always giving great advice,

Misty you are bright sunshine

So joyful, jolly and nice!

 

Remi you’re so strong and fierce

And an artist through and through,

Kay I’ve never met anyone

As colourful as you! 

 

I thank you all so very much

May the good times never cease

For I’ve only one last thing to say

And that is…

FECKING TORISE! 

xoxo

Rosalie

I met Teddy when I was 16 years old. We were at school together. We started out as a relatively vanilla couple and lost our V-cards to each other quite early on in the relationship. It was quite an intense affair for the first year; we were both battling various issues at the time. We would flip between heated, passionate argument days to tear off each other's clothes days. As many couples do, we fell into the trap of spending every waking moment together. Though this sounds super romantic and lovely in theory, in reality we ended up isolating ourselves from our friends, family and lost concentration on our school work (though I was always much more concerned about my grades than he was :9_innocent:). We eventually realised this and got our butts back to reality but we knew there was something a bit different about our relationship, we just couldn't quite explain it.  

 

I loved Teddy looking after me. I loved that he would cook for me, read to me and help me with my homework. Even though he was not much older than me, I always loved the idea that he could guide me and teach me. I remember feeling completely at peace when he stroked my hair for the first time. I had never felt so safe around a guy. My previous encounters with men boys had always been less than ideal, with many taking advantage of me or only showing interest in me for my body. I didn't feel any pressure or expectations with Teddy, in fact I was the one who instigated our sexual relationship. It was honestly so different from the cheap, unpleasant experiences of my past that I was completely infatuated within a few months. I trusted him, and felt like I could explore my sexuality fully with him. At first this involved some spanking and dressing up. Teddy loved my ordinary school uniform, so the tiny school girl lingerie I occasionally wore in the bedroom drove him wild. I realised that I wanted to be dominated, and Tumblr helped us discover the world of D/s. 

 

Now, Tumblr is a funny place. It can be really great and informative, but it can also be very lewd or distasteful for some. I found some of the BDSM and D/s content disturbing, not because it was BDSM but because I can be a bit of a prude when it comes to pornography which Tumblr has a lot of. Even today, particularly graphic gifs will make me cringe and turn me right off. I saw a lot of cliche 'Submit to me, NOW' and 'Cum for me, slut' pictures which made me super uncomfortable, but I liked the general idea behind D/s. I wanted to be submissive for Teddy, but I didn't want to feel inferior or like he didn't care for me. I referred to him as Sir for a number of months, which I was okay with. However, it never felt 100% right, like it was too formal. Teddy (or Sir at the time) and I both had sex blogs. Mine was a lot more sexually subtle. One day, completely by accident, I came across a blog that confused me. A girl was referring to her partner as 'daddy'. It took me a while to figure this out. I was disturbed and grossed-out, but intrigued. I continued to scroll. I showed the blog to Teddy, and we both laughed and cringed at it together. I followed it. I began to do more research into daddies and littles etc. 

 

The world of DD/lg was completely and utterly new to me, and while I found it really weird, I also found that a lot of things that littles did were things I also did. I used to buy pacifiers as a child and teenager because I loved them (despite never using one as an actual infant). I was a huge Disney fan. I adored feeling cute by wearing dresses and putting my hair in pigtails or braids. I would even baby-talk with Teddy, we had our own secret language! If you're reading this Teddy, huggaba ah!  We were sickeningly sweet with each other, and I would always crave his attention. Obviously these things alone don't make up a little but they are what sparked my initial interest. Then I began to look into the sexual side of DD/lg, and was delighted (though I didn't really know why) to find that bondage, spanking, flogging etc. were all super common within the dynamic. The combination of the loving, caring relationship, and the gritty, fiery sexuality was what I had always hoped for. The structure of rules with the caring nature of rewards with the sting of punishments rolled into one perfect package for me. Though it was exciting, I was a bit hesitant at first. I worried about what this kink meant and if I was creepy or wrong for liking it. The most scary part, however, was bringing it up with Teddy...

 

Part II continues here!

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